taking on the advice of Phil,
I decided to play around with new photos and images, (the chains and labyrinth are from the google) apat fom the images of myself. the image effects have been made by using the fether tool and the curvs tool, the curvs tool is my favourit tools as it allows you to have more control over the effect.

A sugestion given to me, it seems that the back ground maybe too over powering, and that I put my emotion before my physical self.

to day we watched the elephant man, I found the film very moving to watch, as how it showed man who struggled against odds for exceptance due to his, facial diformaty with in the mid victorian era, he was halped by Dr. Frederick Treves, who took him in under his wing, and showed to people that he was not to be feered, and was as normal as anyone else. there's evil twisted areas by people with in the film on how they treated him, and quite moving. At first the camra takes guidence away from showing his face, it keeps you geussing to what he looks like, untill he is sutly revealed more as someone who is frightend with in the corner of the room, with in the doctors room.

This image is a concept to what my final image may, or may not look like, as for that it is one concept.

I had consulted Phil about this image, he guided me. We spoke about how the composition had two strong images saying the same thing, the chains and the maze, the other image that also stands out is the neckless, he mentioned the word of tautology, which was like two same meanings put together, to describe one thing, for example large giant or small dwarf. He advised me to take a photograph to use for my new style of portraits, of my head/face, he advised this as this image was a recycled, version of an older photo, that sugested no meaning to my relevent idea. my newer photo's will now capture this mood and express this, he said to have the images as nutral emotion, or like a picture of the top of my head opened up and with the maze/chain inside.



tautology: double description eg: small dwarf or large giant

this is one of my final pieces of my maya project from week one, I created this using Maya 09 I first created the dice from a cube, and evolving it into a dice by using the extrude the select point tool and through using photoshop I created the skin for the dice its self, through creating the dice in photoshop. the difficulty when creating the dice, was the select point tool due to that it kept snapping in different places. The main other difficulty I also had (in which I need to revise) is controlling the camera and lighting tools, for this I had used the help of Emily. when creating the skin for the dice, I had forgot to delete the underline grid so when i created the skin, I had the grid of the UV still all over the dice. To fix this I decided to manually wipe the lines through the paint effect tool this part was ok, but the lines looked scruffy, when putting them with on the dice. after this I decided to neaten up the lines through, using the help of Thomas and Nathan, from the second year to help me.

my project is going down into a split hair my essay is about social stereotypes and the portrait is about how people look at me and view me and the style that I would like the image to be, I'm currently looking at four artists Lucas Samaras, Egon Scheile, Banksy and Tibor Kalman.


Lucas Samaras and Egon Scheile are two artist that I need to look at more in depth. (I do admit) But Bansky and Tibor Kalman are my artist that I'm going to look at for the social stereotypes.

Bansky and Tibor are both linked through the way of how they socially challenge peoples views. Tibor Kalman created the image of the queen and Anold Schwarzenegger as coloured to through the question of why and how we pacieve people, when looking at his book, it also was verry socially pollitical. (As the same with Banskys artwork)



These both question social limmits to how we think.
In the aspect that they're both telling the truth.



(Now my portrait)

As I have said I'm looking at Lucas Samaras and Egon Scheile, I'm looking at Egon Scheile through the way that he had difficulty on how he viewed himself. He hits me on a personal note of mine, as me , my self have problems on how I'm seen up on, due to the way I sometimes act or behave in public, due to my asperger, I've never stopped my self from being my self and wont mask my self infront of others, and try to be as honest as possible.

I my self, I feel that I have probblems in, on where to look socially, how to look socially, how to express my self facially socially. I sometimes get feers in wether I'm looking at the person propperly, wether I'm staring or looking to much or, not so much. I'm verry mysted to how people feel or look at me socially, but due to grate amaizing friends lots of these questions have I've moved on from. Although one true friend, I still get very upset about due to something happenning, and even now I live in pure regret to what happend, I tried my hardest for it not to happen the way it did, and even now, I choke up to the way it happend, and live in hope for it to resolve to the way it always was, before it ever happend...


When going to councelling as I admit this now, the question to who I am raised up and ended with a battle of me trying to link things from my world to the social world. Like a bridge of understanding. In a world like contexed, I feel cold and confused and isolated, always trying to figure out what things mean, trying to puzzle things together, never understanding through what and how people mean, trying to look at things in many difforent ways and throwing questions at them, like for example, Y a shoe? cant it be a car or a fish? I lock into actions and motions repeating things around in my head my a broken record, or even a turn table full of random objects that lock into place, the tower of objects keep building, and my mind keeps werring around and around.

Some people I find they say that they take an event and throw it asside and forget about it and move on, but when an event happens to me, it ends up ontop of the heap of the ever rotating tower of my mind, but eventualy topples or falls off in time, but due to having stuff with in.

I also feel that I have an inner self, but locked away, like an image what I should be doing and how I should be like or how I should act, this part of me is an area that is hard to explain.

when this comes down to my portrait I would like my portrait to be of me, but of my self going into my self, and my inner self locked and chainned up, while my portrait being distorted in the style of Lucas Samaras, I geus even this blog can count as now apart of my identity, I've asked close freinds to email me on how they view me and see me to help me out more on this project...



^Too much thinking^

Some of these feelings that I may post, you may even say that you your selves get these very same feelings, so there for I am never one to judge or challenge.

It is this image that given me possible ideas for my final outcome, I like the way the eyes are piercing through and I like the way the whites of the eyes are blackened out to only reveal the ires as a freaky piercing colour, looking at this image at the time, I started thinking more deeper about this image, I like the way it is more different from the normal black and white image and i think it is more striking and more powerful...